Help I am depressed and only 16?

I've been feeling depressed ever since last summer. Last summer i smoked A LOT of weed every day sometimes twice a day for a month straight. Last summer was also a very bad summer my parents lost both their cars, and my mom was having a nervous breakdown because her brother tried committing suicide. I would stay out late and sometimes not even come home. I would ditch her just to go smoke or go out. After a while when i was high i would realize what i was doing and start to cry. I stopped smoking but all of a sudden i started noticing everything about everyone. How ugly, or loud, or annoying some people were and even bad things about myself. How ugly i was and weird and etc. It's been a year and it hasn't gotten any better I stopped hanging out with friends and going out because my parents are my number one priority i always choose my family over anything now but i feel like i had no friends. my bestfriend was my bf of two years but he left so i had no one. We read cathcer and the rye and i feel just like holden i dont have anyone to talk to so I'll talk to anyone even if i think theyre annoying because i just want some company. Everything depresses me just life in general we work so hard for money and just spend it so we can have great clothes that other people will like but in the end it doesnt matter because well die. i think about dying a lot. I want to live forever but i feel like dying everyday also i know death is inevitable so when i think fo my mom dying i start to cry. i think i'm abnormally attatched to her. i also have suicidal thought but i know i'm enever going to do anything because i want to see how this life changes i want to know how it ends. I feel so unspecial i feel like a weirdo i feel so ugly. I do feel happy at times but in teh end i always go to bed with the same thoughts. the only times i feel happy is when im going to go out and i "pretty myself up" But i feel like this is never going to end and i've been wanting to talk to my mom taking em to the doctor and getting me Anti depressant pills but i know she'll just say it's because im lazy or i want attention. But i don't think it's normal for me to feel so tired and to think this way but if Anti deppresant pills will help me then i'll take the chance to ask her.